Room 323 [Wednesday, Afternoon]

[comeoutwrong]

Yeah, even if class hadn't been canceled the last couple days, there was no fucking way that Effy was going out there. The last time things had gone this haywire and it'd hit her was still far too fresh in her mind, and even looking out the window at the changing island was making her feel beyond twitchy.

No. Staying in, curled up on her bed with her arms around her knees, smoking, and listening. Not to anything anyone else could hear (well unless they were the sort who could eavesdrop on internal chatter), but-- Listening.

Maybe she should be trying to block all that out, go out and help with... Whatever was going on. But at moments like this, when things were going wrong around her, it became that little bit too much effort to do anything and, well, this use of time did give her a masochistic sort of entertainment.

[[Door's closed, but the post can be open. Effy, as usual, is all messed up.]]

Comments

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

Effy spun back towards him, taking a step that way. "Like what?" Her version of trying just didn't quite match up with everyone else's. "Can't just forget. It doesn't work that way. So what?"

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex rolled his eyes. "You could tell me what's going on instead of letting me imagine what might be wrong. I'm asking, Effy. Jesus fucking Christ. Wake up."

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

Talking. Didn't really think that was a solution, but still took a couple steps closer, tapping her finger repeatedly against her palm.

"Last time this sort of shit happened," she told him, "I woke up where it was raining ash, foot fucking long bugs everywhere. It was all dead things, and tortured people and--" There were many things about that weekend really want to relive in her head as regularly as she did. "He wore their skin, like some kind of fucking trophy."

"When this happens," she jerked her thumb towards the window. "That's what I think of."

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex had to steel himself not to react to...those new facts. They were bad just hearing so he knew they had to be worse to have experienced. He kept his face mostly blank.

"You know you're not there anymore, right?" Alex checked. "I know it's still vivid and shit but what's blocking you from grounding yourself back in reality?"

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

Effy pursed her lips, hovering as she decided how to answer that, and twitched her shoulders in a small shrug. Even she wasn't sure how to decipher her own mind sometimes.

"Better than it was." And she for one would take that. Wasn't that enough? Anything else in her head had been there before, and since, and maybe it wasn't helping, but-- "Nothing's ever perfect."

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"That didn't answer my question," Alex pointed out, shaking his head. "You purposefully avoid that or you just don't have an answer that makes sense?"

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

"It's not one of those things where you just have an answer." That'd be option two, then. "Probably more than just one little thing you can just solve."

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I wasn't really looking to solve anything," Alex said, shaking his head. "But you're acting like you might fucking crack any minute. You'd be pestering me to talk too."

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

Effy exhaled a short breath, reigning in a little more of that annoyance, and shook her head. "Seen me closer to that than today," she said honestly.

"And I don't think you really want the details." Bad enough she had to think about it. "Not exactly nice stories to be telling."

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"You know, if I asked, I fucking want to know," Alex said, rolling his eyes. "Don't speak for me. If you don't wanna tell me, that's different."

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

Effy managed to keep herself from arguing that point, simply by pressing her lips together.

In an attempt to stop her own fidgeting she sat, taking up the other end of the bed.

"Next time I'll forget your delicate ears," she said. Despite the dry way she said it, she did actually mean that.

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex rolled his eyes. "My ears aren't delicate. You're really looking for excuses not to talk to me, aren't you?"

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

"I'm here, talking to you," she pointed out. "Get more of that than anyone else."

"I just can't tell you what I don't know."

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, fine, but don't blame not telling me on me," Alex said, shaking his head. "My delicate ears, assuming I don't want to hear it, that kind of shit. It's irritating."

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

"Right." Effy rolled her own eyes, slouching back against the wall next to her bed. "... Sorry," she added, somewhat uncomfortably. Apologising wasn't her strong suit.

"What is it you want to know, anyway?" Assuming there was something she could manage to find an answer to.

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"There's nothing specific, Effy," he sighed, shaking his head again. "It was just an offer if you wanted to talk. You don't. Whatever."

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

Still fidgeting, Effy picked at the duvet under her hands. "Never really understood people who can just talk. About anything," she admitted. "How do they make showing everything seem like nothing?" It was possible she wasn't really expecting an answer to that, but she was definitely considering it as she looked down at her hands.

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"It was an offer," he sighed, shaking his head. "You don't have to be philosophical about it. I've got nothing else for you. So, whatever, Effy. Whatever."

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

She glanced at him, barely avoiding a roll of her eyes. Instead she just sent him a look threaded with irritation.

"Am how I am. Whatever." They were great at making each other feel better when it was going to hell outside, weren't they? "Just gonna sit here in silence then, are we?"

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Nope," he said and stood up, shaking his head. "I'll just go ahead and fucking leave since I've done the equivalent of beat my head into a wall with you today."

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

"Won't keep you then." She could feel shit about managing to drive him away better when he wasn't there anyway. For the best.

Until he actually left, she'd avoid showing it, though.

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, what the fuck ever," Alex said, not bothering to stick around if she as going to be like this. He slammed out of her room and disappeared quickly.