I hear words go past me backwards.

Well, it wasn't like Alex could stay asleep forever and now he was coming round, rolling over and sitting up, still looking dazed but somewhat alert.

"What the fuck's the kid doing here?" he asked, glancing at Effy. "You got another brother or something?"

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"See? Awake." And apparently not hearing the 'Dad' portion of this. Effy felt a headache coming on, and she'd barely been up for two minutes.

"And no." That part went to Alex. "Just the one. He's not it."

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"I'm not her brother, I'm your kid," Joshua said, wondering if his parents had just gone mental overnight or something. They were starting to bore him with all these looks and incessant questions.

"Have you both gone mental or something?" he asked, just deciding to voice that question. "Stop acting like you don't know who I am. It's not funny."

And, even if Joshua didn't hug (ew), he was going to reach up and try and grab Effy's hand to see if he could force to stop gawking and stuff. "Come on, Mom. I wanna do something that's not staring at walls."

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All right, now Alex was all the way awake and staring at both of them. Why had he woken up again? This wasn't fucking happening.

"The fuck?" Still staring. "No. No, I'm not your dad. I don't even know your name. How can I be your dad if I don't know your name."

And and and... He grimaced and pointed towards Effy. "And we use fucking protection. I don't even know your name."

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"Don't look at me. I don't know it either." Because, what she'd failed to do somewhere in this so far was deny. He was all... unnervingly familiar, and it had her pausing.

"And I'm not mental." She wasn't!

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"You're acting like it," he scoffed, still tugging on her hand for...no other reason than to get her to stop standing there, looking lost. She hadn't had to climb three flights of stairs to find him. He was the one that had nearly been lost.

"Joshua Aaron Karev," he said, having recited that name far too many times. Boring name, if you asked him. Boring. "I want Pop Tarts for breakfast. I want Dad to make them. His aren't shit like yours, Mom."

Obviously, he had a Pop Tart preference. Pop Tarts just brought people together.

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Alex would have gotten out of bed but, you know, he wasn't wearing anything but the sheet right now so he thought it better to stay put and sta--

"Wait, Aaron?" Alex asked sharply, staring a little harder than he had been before. That was an all too familiar name attached to his last name and his expression betrayed that familiarity for a brief moment before he looked down. "She's not mental. I'm not mental. You're the one that thinks we're parents, you're the mental one."

Arguing with a child. That's the spirit.

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Wasn't it just. Not only was he arguing, he was also telling the kid he was crazy. Such parenting.

Still, that hesitation was noticeable enough to prompt a look from Effy.

"It's just... not possible." Because she would've noticed, obviously. Then again, nothing around here fell in the realm of 'impossible' all of the time, which worried her a little. "I am not parent material." At all. Ever.

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"Yeah, yeah and Dad's an idiot and blah blah blah," Joshua mimicked, obviously having heard a version of this argument before. He wasn't letting go of Effy's hand though, small fingers tightening around hers.

"Can you stop acting weird?" he finally asked, sighing. "I don't like it when you're weird. Obviously, it's possible. I could tell you how I came here, if you want. I know how."

Smart, oversharing kid, that was him. No shame. It was an inherited gene.

"You were probably doing that last night," he decided, looking smirky. "Weren't you?"

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Alex just shook his head at that look, not willing to get into anything right here and now considering they were dealing with their kid.

What the fuck.

"You've got a smart mouth." It was really familiar. He looked back at Effy. "Can you like turn him around so I can at least put some fucking pants on? Be...a mom or something."

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... Be a mom. Just like that.

Effy claimed to be able to do anything, but that one left her floundering. It took a second, but she could at least reach back for his other hand to turn him towards her, and away from Alex.

"You don't think this is weird anyway?" she wondered. Outside of him just thinking they were being odd.

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"Lots of things are weird," he told her, quieting down a bit now that he seemingly had all her attention on him. "All you gotta do is make 'em not weird. Adjust and stuff. Nothing stays weird forever."

It was child logic but it was fairly intelligent child logic. The boy could read books when he wanted to.

Joshua leaned back some, using her hands as the anchor to keep him upright. It was a fun game.

"Besides, we're not weird," he told her smartly. "Everyone else is really goddamn weird. Duh."

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Right, Alex spent the time between getting out of bed and finding a pair of pants, listening to that and repressing a shiver at how weirdly familiar it sounded.

"All right, decent," he finally said, dropping onto the edge of her bed and getting back to staring and rubbed his head. Oh wait, he had an idea and he was already standing back up.

"I'll go get those Pop Tarts." And leave her alone with their kid for a few minutes. Master plan. "Right? Good."

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...

"What do you mean 'good'?" Don't think she hadn't noticed the downside here. "You are not fucking off and leaving me to deal with this." Being theirs made it-- him, Alex's problem too, and leaving her alone with him didn't count.

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Joshua sighed and shook his head, all too familiar with the barbs back and forth like this. It was almost comforting since he knew they weren't exactly his parents but they were closest he had at the moment and the familiarity was nice to see.

"Oh, bitch bitch bitch," he intoned dryly, shaking his head. "I don't need food that bad, Dad. Don't run away. You always say only chickenshits do that and you're not one of them."

Well, he hoped this version of his dad wasn't one of them. "And don't make it sound like its such a chore to deal with me, Mom. I'm not that bad."

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"I was going to get breakfast, I wasn't fucking off and leaving you to deal with anything," Alex told her, unable not to argue despite the words from the kid. Still, he did drop back down onto the edge of the bed.

"Seems to like you anyway," Alex pointed out, smiling a bit because the kid was clinging to her hands. "Maybe he's like his dad. Got a thing for accents and all. I give good genes, it looks like."

The kid wasn't bad looking.

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"Half mine," she felt compelled to point out. Her genes were perfectly good too, thanks... The fact this kid was hers was still a terrifying prospect, though. But she was finding it a little difficult to come up with a better explanation for the familiarity.

"... It's not a chore." She just didn't have the first idea how this was supposed to go. "What we supposed to do to entertain you, anyway?"

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"Do you have anything fun in here?" Joshua asked, finally letting go of her hands so he could root around her room, digging through drawers and in her closet.

He was her son, he could go look through her stuff. That's what he thought, at least. "You should keep more of Dad's things here."

Ha ha ha, enjoy that one Mom and Dad. Joshua wasn't even trying to cause freakouts. He was just idly chattering while he was half inside her closet, looking through her things.

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Alex was back to rubbing his eyes and even rolling his shoulders some to work out the stress that was building. Nothing like meeting some kid that was yours but wasn't yours with a middle name like that to make you tense.

"She's got a lot of fun stuff in here," he said, almost smug. Some of that stuff just probably wasn't meant for kids. "And she won't let me keep my things in here."

Well no, it just wasn't something they talked about but if he could put it on her, he would.

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Effy wandered closer to Alex, still keeping her eye on the kid rifling through her closet. Just in case.

"Got plenty of his own space," she told Joshua, watching his search carefully, and hoping he stuck to that cupboard. Safe... ish there from finding too much of the alcohol, drugs, condoms and the like she kept about. He'd likely be stuck with clothes, more clothes, boots, a stuffed animal, the odd book...

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Joshua didn't quite hear that, too focused on his search through her closet. Finding clothes and shoes was a bit boring but there had to be something in there that he could entertain himself with. Fun things always got buried in the backs of closets.

Or so he thought. To better help his search, he actually started tossing things over his shoulder and out of the closet so he could see better. Messy, messy kid. At least he was quiet for the moment? Small blessing.

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Right well, this was fucking weird. Even if he'd firmly placed this in the 'fucking island, goddammit' category in his mind, it was still weird. Alex didn't really know what the island was thinking, giving the two of them a kid somewhere. How hadn't they killed each other?

And the middle name was still catching him. That was just too coincidental. Also, sappy. Alex shook his head and turned his attention away from the impossible child to Effy when she wandered closer.

"Plenty of my own space? Gonna make the kid sad," he said, teasing for the hell of it before gesturing to the spot beside him. "Fuck, I need a cigarette. Maybe fifty of them. Thought I'd left this parenting shit behind."

Edited Date: 2010-04-11 02:11 pm (UTC)

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Effy rolled her eyes at that first comment before she dropped down on the bed beside Alex and let out a short breath. "Not exactly something I'm used to."

No, that was a big fat no.

"I was the baby of the family." Always the little sister, or youngest cousin, or... whatever else, and not that kid friendly to boot.

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"Boring boring boring boring," Joshua started ticking off as he tossed various pieces of clothing and other odds and ends out of the closet, moving further inside as he did. "God, this place is so damn boring. Real home's much better."

He was mostly just talking to himself and, considering the words were muffled, it wasn't like anyone could hear him anyway,

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