comeoutwrong: (☁ wallowing in emo)
Effy'd never been much of a talker. This time, she didn't think she'd need to say much.

It was more a show than a tell. It'd gone way further than she should've let it go, and somewhere inside she knew it. Looking at her walls now, with her mum at her side, she knew that. It'd been a long time, too long, just staring, and it was when Anthea started using the door frame for support that Effy finally broke the silence.

"Mum." She swallowed, watching her take everything in. "... Mum."

Anthea didn't seem like she was in the place to respond, so Effy shut up again, and waited. Eventually they'd talk. Or she'd be talked at, more likely. Until then, she was just going to have to wait.

[[Establishy, and vaguely adapted from canon. She'll be popping home for a bit, but will be back.]]
comeoutwrong: (☁ little bit mental.)
Everyone has their ways of dealing. )

[[ Warning for mental instability and mentions of substance abuse. The door is closed, but the post can be open if anyone particularly wants to deal with her. ]]
comeoutwrong: (✽ kitty!)
With class over for the week, and spring break right there, Effy was right about thinking she'd start on her weekend. Maybe go out, find some of her own fun. It'd been a while.

It was always at moments when you made a decision like that, that life decided to screw you over in the most irritating ways. For most people in most places this came in the form of finding the clubs you wanted to go to were closed, or the buses weren't running... Maybe you got ill. In Effy's case, slightly less mundane. Trouble with this island was that is was never mundane, and finding yourself fur-covered and a fraction of the size you were used to wasn't a one-off occurrence. Unfortunately.

The end of the week, after classes, and right before a full week that could've been spent in Hawaii. Fucking typical.

If a cat could scowl and roll her eyes in frustration, that's what she'd be doing right now. There went her plans.

[[Door's cracked, if you happen to want to see a kitty. Fair warning, she likes her claws.]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ on the bed)
Effy, being the discerning sort, had avoided getting caught up in the freak storm of mis-communication yesterday. She didn't talk enough to bother leaving people hundreds of messages, and that had really worked in her favour. The message she'd been left yesterday got to stay on her voicemail. It amused her.

True to this trait, she was busy texting back and forth with Panda this afternoon, trying to solve her friend's relationship issues. Effy found it particularly ironic that Pandora chose her of all people for all these questions. Like she had a brilliant track record with this shit.

Lounging sideways on her bed with her head dangling half off the edge as she look particularly comfortable, but left her with the option to glance out her open door and keep an eye on whatever the fuck her cross-hallway neighbor was doing wandering to apparently just stare into the hallway periodically.

Maybe she'd go ask later. When she could be bothered.

[[Door and post open, I completely failed at playing with phones yesterday, so I LINKDROP TODAY, DAMN IT.]]
comeoutwrong: (☁ wallowing in emo)
Yeah, even if class hadn't been canceled the last couple days, there was no fucking way that Effy was going out there. The last time things had gone this haywire and it'd hit her was still far too fresh in her mind, and even looking out the window at the changing island was making her feel beyond twitchy.

No. Staying in, curled up on her bed with her arms around her knees, smoking, and listening. Not to anything anyone else could hear (well unless they were the sort who could eavesdrop on internal chatter), but-- Listening.

Maybe she should be trying to block all that out, go out and help with... Whatever was going on. But at moments like this, when things were going wrong around her, it became that little bit too much effort to do anything and, well, this use of time did give her a masochistic sort of entertainment.

[[Door's closed, but the post can be open. Effy, as usual, is all messed up.]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ distant)
Effy's head on a regular day was liable to be overly full of dirty thoughts, and her mind would wander to sex at the slightest opportunity. This week made that even more likely than usual, and she'd retreated to her room pretty quickly to avoid acting on the impulses flitting through her mind just watching other people.

At the moment, she was repressing with fire. As she tended to do. Melting and mutating small bits of plastic into unrecognisable shapes with a lighter was only this to a very limited number of people. Effy was one of them.

Right now, she was just itching to do something, anything really, to take her mind off the twitchy edge this week was already bringing out in her. As yet, she hadn't fully decided what, but this was working all right in the meantime.

[[Door is cracked, aaand the post can be open should anyone want to distract her.]]
comeoutwrong: (☁ little bit mental.)
Most days, Effy found issues could be pretty easily buried. She was practiced, good at it, and spending time away had helped. Skiing wasn't her, snowboarding, hot tubbing, relaxing. It wasn't really her. Actually it was easier not being her.

But. Reality had slowly leaked back in, and there were days like today, when she let her guard down and dreams of other places slithered in and got comfortable and brought friends, and bothered her. A lot.

Without class today to take her mind off things, she had to make her own entertainment. Shift her focus away from whatever shit was taking up space in her mind. No, today she had a... project.

Effy could be surprisingly productive when she was thrown into the right -- or possibly wrong, mental state. She should probably be considering what Peter would think of her new decorative impulses. Whatever. It was a little marker pen, and on her side of the room at least.

[[Door and post are open, Effy is... weird.]
comeoutwrong: (☁ by the bed.)
Sleep, still not the easiest thing to come by, and when it finally did, the timing was all off, leaving Effy crawling her way to consciousness in the early afternoon. Not that it mattered, really, since it was a weekend anyway.

There was the surfacing of the realisation she should probably get up, get dressed, go out, do something... But not really the inclination. Too many other things spinning around in her head. A brief investigation down the side of her bed revealed the bottle she kept there was empty. Well. There went that solution. Shit.

Eventually, she made the effort to slip out of bed and turn up her music loud enough to almost drown out most of the snippets of conversation in the back of her head making her twitchy, and slid down to sit on the floor, back against her bed and head dropped back against the mattress. Picking up bad, floor-sitting habits. Wonder whose fault that was.

[[Door is closed, post can be open with the warning the girl is extra messy and broken. ETA: aaand I should probably tack on an extra WARNING for delicate subject matters ahead: discussion of alcohol abuse, mental health issues, etc.]]
comeoutwrong: (Default)
Tonight's election wasn't something Effy could say she was particularly invested in. Wasn't like she was in the country, and she couldn't think it was going to affect her much here.

Besides, they all talked complete shit most of the time anyway. Politicians for you.

And yet... Stretched out on her bed, laptop on, with the BBC website in the background as she threw the odd IM back and forth with Tony. He could vote, that was her reasoning for why it apparently meant more to him.

[[Ah, elections. Door's open, post is also!]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ lighting up.)
Having two classes (relatively early classes, no less) was a bit of a quick come down after a week spent, mostly drunk, in the Bahamas. It all went by that little bit too fast. At least Effy dealt with the aftermath of extended hangovers well.

Or, with large quantities of nicotene, anyway.

Smoking was actually more satisfying somehow, when your breath alone almost misted up in the cold air. Made the smoke she was idly blowing out her open window from her spot perched on the sill look all the more impressive.

Not bad.

[[Expecting a couple, but the door and this post are totally open! ETA: And we should probably put an NFB on the topic of the girls' conversation.]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ plays with fire.)
Effy's room was dark and freezing, and for the moment she was only putting up with it for the moment simply because she was pretty sure she'd feel colder if she got up and wandered around the dorms.

Not being very good at layers as a general rule, she was probably going to suffer this weekend.

Wasn't doing as badly as she could be, at the moment. Fortunately, she had a hell of a lot of candles, and found herself a long sleeved shirt, leggings and an oversized sweater she'd probably stolen from Tony at some point to pull way down over her knees and wrap her arms around as she fiddled with her phone before the batteries died on her.

Give her a minute, and she'd probably be back under her blankets. Weekend, so no one was going to force her to go anywhere. Could have had worse plans to keep her going until she ultimately got bored.

[[Door is closed, occupant cold, post can be open!]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ contemplating.)
With Christmas done and past, there didn't seem to be a hell of a lot going on around here, as far as she could tell. Few days until New Year's, and that trip, and a shitload of empty space to fill until then. Going out was her typical fallback at times like this, but you couldn't do that sort of thing all the time. Unfortunately. It would've been nice, having just one simple thing to think about. Never seemed to be the way things worked out, did it?

Spending her afternoon reading and idly blowing smoke rings out her window was a secondary option. She'd decided a long time ago that classic literature was more fun when there was alcohol or drugs involved. Pity that philosophy never got her by in classes.

[[and her door and this post are open. I have a day off and a bunch of free time to fill]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ got candy.)
Relaxing as days without classes could be, they did have a tendency to give far too much time to think, and over-think about just about everything that had gone on in the last week or so. There was a good lot of stuff that fell into that frustratingly complex category, and Effy had spent her day avoiding that, by being out and about and doing things, cold as it was.

It was only on the way back she'd noticed the overabundance of candy canes, grabbed a couple from the cafeteria and was sucking on one as she pottered around her room and returned a couple of calls from Panda and Tony.

It kept her oral fixation satisfied and was probably better for her lungs. Win win.

[[Open door/post!]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ intense.)
Looked like it was threatening rain outside, so Effy was staying in for once. Every girl needed a night off sometimes, even if they were few and far between for this one. She'd been out and got things done during the day, and to her, that should count for something.

So between the odd text to Tony (whose evening was going far more interestingly than hers), she was flopped back on the bed, holding the book she was reading up over her. She'd even got into it enough her hot chocolate had gone cold. That was actually kind of rare.

[[Door is cracked, but the post can be open!]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ upwardly serious.)
This was just exactly the reason that Effy avoided phone calls home, (except for the ones to Tony) like the plague. Couldn't manage one sodding five minute conversation without going off on one about something.

Today, as was the theme lately, it was at each other. )

Didn't take much of that back and forth before Effy deliberately hung up and threw her phone down onto her bed and cranked up some music in the hope that might drown out her thoughts. Ten quid said it took them a good twenty minutes to even notice she wasn't on the line anymore.

Just when she thought she was four thousand miles away and they couldn't keep fucking with her emotions. Just fantastic.

[[NFB on the contents of the parental conversation, which once again was taken with some modification from Skins 3x05, because I can't just let her be yet. Door's cracked, and the post can be open, sure, if someone actually wants to deal with her emo.]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ looking at you.)
Her room felt bizarrely empty without Edward around, not that Effy would admit that out loud. Still, a week down the line with his stuff gone and the dorm lists changed, she was getting the feeling now, that he probably wasn't coming back.

So today, since she didn't really have anywhere else to be, was the day for rearranging and spreading herself out a little, and making the most of this having her own room.

Made it feel less empty, somehow, and gave her something to think about that wasn't what was going on at home, or certain other confusing moments of this week. Perfect, as far as she was concerned.

[[Door open, post open.]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ looking at you.)
Last class for the term finally out of the way, and it was really about time Effy started to think about her trip home tomorrow, and... well, the packing she had to do for it.

Sure, she probably had enough stuff back in Bristol to get by for a week, but an overnight bag at least might be a good idea, and she yanked one out from under her bed to throw a few things into.

If nothing else, she was looking forward to seeing Tony, maybe even Pandora, though she might be less likely to admit to that second one. The couple of things she actually missed about home were the people. That was something she'd never really imagined would be the case.

[[Door and post are ooooopen, feel free to bug her.]]
comeoutwrong: (✽ kitty!)
Effy had no idea what was going on this week. So people were a little dozy, so what? As soon as she got back from class, she was making plans to go out again, one way to stop herself from falling into the same stupor as everyone else seemed to be.

Of course, no sooner had she decided that, and flopped down onto her bed... than where she sat, was a little blue-eyed cat, instead. This was not the solution to her boredom she'd been hoping for.

Now, she couldn't even smoke.

Fucking ridiculous. She crawled out from under the clothes she had been wearing and stalked to the end of the bed where she sat, sniffed as haughtily as an adorable little kitty could, and proceeded to clean behind her ears.

[[The door is open and the post can be too, if anyone wants to take a break from the drama to mock play with the kitty!]]
comeoutwrong: (☾ sitting.)
By mid-afternoon, it was getting a little too hot for her very pale British self to be anywhere outside (even if it was alligator free, now), so Effy was in the dorms, and in true antisocial spirit, in her own room. She hadn't honestly spent all that much time there since moving out of the cabins, so it was probably about time.

The door was open, which either showed some vague social improvement on her part, or possibly just that she was hoping for a bit of a breeze while she finally got around to unpacking properly. Probably the latter.

Anyway, there was that, and she was even occasionally pausing to get lost in her music for a minute. It was entirely possible she was happy in a less than natural sort of way.

It was a weekend, was there really any better way to spend her time?

[[Door and post are wiiiiide open!]]

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Elizabeth Stonem

October 2012

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